Emma and Mr Gold's Day in Jail
by StevenTyler
Summary: I don't know what happened. One minute I'm checking the lock and the next I'm locked in. One-shot. Probably one of the oddest things I've written.


**AN: So this happens during a time in which Mr. Gold is conveniently in a jail cell. This is probably very cracky and I don't know where it came from. Just… don't take any of this seriously. But Regina teaming up with Henry and the high school students is an amusing thought. That shall not be elaborated on. Crap, just did, aw well. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Sooooo do not own OUAT. I would not like to see what it would look like if I did either. It would be the most messed up thing ever! And like, no viewers. And I would get a lot of hate mail… from the actors. So please don't confuse me for the director. I assure you that we look nothing alike. **

Emma saw a flash of dark hair before she was forcefully pushed into a jail cell. Conveniently, the same jail cell as Mr. Gold. With a sense of dawning horror, Emma saw the door swing shut behind her and lock with a definite click. Rearranging herself from the sprawled out position on the floor, she brushed her hair out of her face and peered up at Mr. Gold, who was examining her with a slightly shocked look. She gave a breathy nervous laugh and uttered, "Well then, fancy seeing you here."

"To what do I owe the pleasure of having our sheriff share the same cell as me?"

~Three very _interesting_ hours late~

Regina strode into the police station, startling the two inmates out of their intense game of tic tac toe. "Oh I hope I'm not interrupting anything, Ms. Swan?"

Emma glared balefully at the haughty woman, "Not at all Madame Mayor. I just had the sudden urge to evaluate the effectiveness of our cells, we couldn't possibly want anyone to escape and wreak _terrible_ terrible havoc on our poor little town, now would we?"

Regina sighed and rubbed her temples to sooth her frustration. Locked in a jail cell unsupervised for three hours and what do they do, play a children's game! Throwing her hands up in the air, she exclaimed, "Oh you two are absolutely hopeless!" Swiftly pulling out a small device and facing away from the prisoners, Regina pressed a button and muttered into the mouthpiece, "Absolutely no improvement on the home field, I suggest stepping up the ante and sending in our reinforcements. I think we'll have to initiate plan 'Bludgeon' early. Harpy out." With her hands on her hips, Regina spun around to glare at them.

Emma and Mr. Gold shared a confused look before sitting back and preparing for the acidic vitriol the mayor was sure to throw at them within thinly veiled barbs. To Emma's surprise, Henry sprinted into the station and immediately went to his adopted mother's side. Ignoring the pang of emotion, she called out to him, "Henry what's going on? Do you think you could get me out of here?"

"And leave me here with no company? Why, I'm hurt, I thought we really connected during your _captivity_" Turning to look at Gold, Emma missed the brief look of triumph that overcame Regina's features.

Henry spoke up after having a low muttered conversation with the Mayor, "Emma, you're making things really hard on us." He cast a sad look on her before running out. Regina spoke to Emma again,

"Every episode, some insane thing has happened, and almost every _single_ episode you have had interactions with," pointing to Gold, "_that_ man! And yet, nothing. Has. Happened! Even locking the two of you together has yielded no results! Hell, the both of you have kids, why don't you talk about them, but no, just avoid that topic like the plague, why don't you. For Voldemort's sake, we even brought Baelfire and his wife up from Florida to help us, and still nothing!" While Emma's mind had stuck at the mention of episodes (was she in some sort of show?), Mr. Gold had paled at the mention of his son.

"Baelfire? You found him?" His tone was slightly pleading, as if the answer could make or break him. Regina huffily sighed,

"Of course we found him! He was never lost. Who do you think teaches the chorus and drama courses at the high school? Moving on, I believe the next phase is about to start, so I'll make my exit." Regina swept out of the room, leaving behind two very shocked individuals. Almost as soon as she had left their vision, another one entered. A tall man, probably around six feet, shuffled in, seemingly swaying to the music coming out of his ear buds. He looked up and jumped back a bit,

"Oh wow! Was not expecting you guys to be there. How long have you guys been their? Never mind, anyways, I'm Baelfire, call me Bae. I came here because, um," Nervously he rubbed the back of his head, messing up his already ruffled hair, "Oh! That's right. I'm here because you're sexual tension is through the roof and is annoying the bejesus out of my students. And when they're annoyed, generally they tend to bring in cookies." He shot his arm out and point accusingly at the two perpetrators, "I really like cookies! So make up or whatever just do something! And I won't leave before you do!" He pouted petulantly and sat Indian style in top of Emma's desk.

Her head started pounding from the information pouring out of this somewhat immature man and how it might match up to what Regina was saying. Deciding to put it aside for the moment, she focused in on what Regina offhandedly offered, as it seemed like Mr. Gold was in no condition to process anything. _Interesting, I didn't know that it was possible to fry his brain. _"Hey Mister Bae or something! Before the Mayor left she said something about episodes?"

Baelfire's petulant expression vanished and was replaced by one akin to a small child in a candy shop. He started nodding his head quickly, "Yeah! **Once Upon a Time**! It's a fabulous show. We all watch it, you are sooooo cool! Oh! Before I forget, your door in the first episode was awesome! Where did you find it? Or was it just something that the set designers came up with? Funny, I was under the impression that it was a reality show and didn't have set designers…. Oh well, I guess everything does nowadays." While Bae continued contemplating out loud, Emma's brain ground to a halt. How did he know about her old apartment? For that matter, there was a show about her?! When had that happened? When she was about to pelt him with more questions, she spotted a movement out of the corner of her eye, it seemed as if someone finally snapped out of whatever haze he was in.

"B-Baelfire?" The young man snapped his head in the direction of the voice, identical eyes finding each other.

"Oh now I feel rude! Hey ya Dad! That's a bit late, sorry; I probably should have said that sooner." His adoring grin upon meeting Emma was replaced with a more sheepish expression. Meanwhile, Emma's head was swiveling back in forth, her mind refusing to make the connection that such an open person could be related to… well… Mr. Gold. The lilt in his voice now made sense though, after all, how many people have a Scottish accent in Storybrooke? Regina did saw they retrieved him from Florida though.

"Ah good! You're using your brain!" Was she speaking out loud? "Not at all, dear lady! Your thoughts just play out so well upon you lovely face. As to the unspoken question that is doubtless to come next, yes my wife is a sorceress from the Disney film Sleeping Beauty, and no, we sadly do not have a pet unicorn, we had to leave Fiona behind." Emma's brain stuttered again, anymore and she would start to think that there were a couple scratches on it,

"NO! No, that was definitely not my next question at all!" Emma hung her head in defeat at Bae's inquiring gaze. Today there was evil mayors not acting evil and with hidden agendas, biological sons teaming up with said evil, a random man out of nowhere who had the most perfected puppy dog eyes she had ever seen, the whole town watches a show about her life, and apparently the high school students had been recruiting to pair her up with someone. Feeling her brain go on temporary leave, Emma gave everything she had previously thought/known up to find someone who would actually care. Unfolding herself and standing up, Emma spun around and crushed her lips to Gold's.

**AN: Yeah, I don't know what happened, one minute I'm just rejoicing the extra day off school, and next I know a random rabid plot bunny was attacking me.**


End file.
